> Back when I used to act, I could never watch myself on video.
High-five. (in my defence, what the fuck were my hands *doing*?!)
I'm thoroughly shameless so idk how much my thoughts on this will help, but fwiw: with making stuff, I think the most helpful thing is to make so much stuff and put so much stuff out there that you stop investing as much importance in any one piece, and also notice and analyse how you feel when you read others' work. If you see something cringey or otherwise imperfect in someone else's work, you probably don't go 'THIS WHOLE THING IS WORTHLESS BURN IT BURN IT', you might just wince and move on and enjoy the rest, and I think it's freeing to accept that your work will sometimes be in that space, for future-you or for others, and it's not too big a deal. And by just making loads, you feel more free to experiment with tone and style, have a piece that's controlled, have another that's all over the place, make a mess, etc. Then there's stuff like writing a page just for the exercise of rereading and editing it, writing a novel that you decide you'll never share anywhere before you put down the first word, all that jazz. And then just the general learning you get from encounters with Weird and Uncomfortable in the process of working out *why* it feels weird and uncomfortable and really delving into it.
Idk if any of that helps but as time's gone on I've found that the worst elements in my older work were things that I had no chance of fixing at the time because they were down to lack of life experience, so realising that took some pressure off when attempting to edit to the guessed-at sensibilities of future-me, because turns out it's impossible. I tend to imagine a friendly and curious older woman is reading my work and the criticisms she might make (which can help to tease out my own attitudes to things and what my exact issue is with something I've written beyond 'uuuuurgh'). I feel comfortable writing a lot more difficult/serious material than I used to, even though I'm sure there'll be stuff that sets my teeth on edge if I reread far enough in the future. I mentally split things into separate projects a lot now, where each is kinda its own bubbled off learning/training experience, so that editing is now a lot more 'is this in line with what I want to do with this project?' and less 'gotta get this perfect'. Because I used to fuss more and it didn't make the end result any better.
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Date: 2021-12-31 02:56 am (UTC)High-five. (in my defence, what the fuck were my hands *doing*?!)
I'm thoroughly shameless so idk how much my thoughts on this will help, but fwiw: with making stuff, I think the most helpful thing is to make so much stuff and put so much stuff out there that you stop investing as much importance in any one piece, and also notice and analyse how you feel when you read others' work. If you see something cringey or otherwise imperfect in someone else's work, you probably don't go 'THIS WHOLE THING IS WORTHLESS BURN IT BURN IT', you might just wince and move on and enjoy the rest, and I think it's freeing to accept that your work will sometimes be in that space, for future-you or for others, and it's not too big a deal. And by just making loads, you feel more free to experiment with tone and style, have a piece that's controlled, have another that's all over the place, make a mess, etc. Then there's stuff like writing a page just for the exercise of rereading and editing it, writing a novel that you decide you'll never share anywhere before you put down the first word, all that jazz. And then just the general learning you get from encounters with Weird and Uncomfortable in the process of working out *why* it feels weird and uncomfortable and really delving into it.
Idk if any of that helps but as time's gone on I've found that the worst elements in my older work were things that I had no chance of fixing at the time because they were down to lack of life experience, so realising that took some pressure off when attempting to edit to the guessed-at sensibilities of future-me, because turns out it's impossible. I tend to imagine a friendly and curious older woman is reading my work and the criticisms she might make (which can help to tease out my own attitudes to things and what my exact issue is with something I've written beyond 'uuuuurgh'). I feel comfortable writing a lot more difficult/serious material than I used to, even though I'm sure there'll be stuff that sets my teeth on edge if I reread far enough in the future. I mentally split things into separate projects a lot now, where each is kinda its own bubbled off learning/training experience, so that editing is now a lot more 'is this in line with what I want to do with this project?' and less 'gotta get this perfect'. Because I used to fuss more and it didn't make the end result any better.